While bathing my 7-year old son Carlos, he asked me a boggling question. “Mom, will the same thing happen to me as what happened to Amiel?” (Amiel is the grade 4 Ateneo student who was crushed by a van in the Ateneo Grade School pick-up and drop-off area. Amiel died.)
I paused for a while and answered “NO!” I continued soaping Carlos and he reiterated, “I mean Mom, when I become a good boy ba will I die?” This time it was a longer pause I took, I couldn’t understand where he was going, but I answered “Of course not”.
While rinsing him off, Carlos explained further, “kasi Mom sabi nila, Amiel died kasi he was a good boy. God wanted to be with Amiel na, kaya He got Amiel”. And so Carlos repeated “So Mom pag naging good na ba ko, will God get me?”
I continued rinsing him, giving myself time to make a reasonable answer.
I saw a scared boy in Carlos. Confused on whether to be good or not. It was like a choice of keeping his life or facing death. I felt bad.
While wrapping him with towel, I asked first, “Why do you ask that anak?”
Carlos, being in the same school as Amiel, is surrounded by countless stories about the unfortunate death of Amiel. Carlos said that the yayas and drivers talk about the accident all the time. Carlos said, “Mom kasi sabi nila pag good ka daw kinukuha ka ni God” - (A usual note we, adults, make when somebody young dies ‘mabait na bata kasi kaya kinuha ng Diyos’). These discussions Carlos overheard gave him a scary idea. He felt that being good meant death, and a gruesome death if I may add.
No matter how I protect my kids from wrong info, wrong info still comes.
When Carlos was all dried up I explained, “No anak, that’s not true. Amiel died because God has plans for him. He didn’t die because he was a good boy, it’s just that God needed Amiel na. Sayang lang, because Amiel is a good boy, but that’s not the reason why he died.”
Our conversation and bath time ended there. It seemed like he was thinking it through. Perhaps trying to make sense of what I said and what he heard over and over in school. I just pray that he trusts my words over what others said. I just wish that he’s no longer scared of being a good boy.
I paused for a while and answered “NO!” I continued soaping Carlos and he reiterated, “I mean Mom, when I become a good boy ba will I die?” This time it was a longer pause I took, I couldn’t understand where he was going, but I answered “Of course not”.
While rinsing him off, Carlos explained further, “kasi Mom sabi nila, Amiel died kasi he was a good boy. God wanted to be with Amiel na, kaya He got Amiel”. And so Carlos repeated “So Mom pag naging good na ba ko, will God get me?”
I continued rinsing him, giving myself time to make a reasonable answer.
I saw a scared boy in Carlos. Confused on whether to be good or not. It was like a choice of keeping his life or facing death. I felt bad.
While wrapping him with towel, I asked first, “Why do you ask that anak?”
Carlos, being in the same school as Amiel, is surrounded by countless stories about the unfortunate death of Amiel. Carlos said that the yayas and drivers talk about the accident all the time. Carlos said, “Mom kasi sabi nila pag good ka daw kinukuha ka ni God” - (A usual note we, adults, make when somebody young dies ‘mabait na bata kasi kaya kinuha ng Diyos’). These discussions Carlos overheard gave him a scary idea. He felt that being good meant death, and a gruesome death if I may add.
No matter how I protect my kids from wrong info, wrong info still comes.
When Carlos was all dried up I explained, “No anak, that’s not true. Amiel died because God has plans for him. He didn’t die because he was a good boy, it’s just that God needed Amiel na. Sayang lang, because Amiel is a good boy, but that’s not the reason why he died.”
Our conversation and bath time ended there. It seemed like he was thinking it through. Perhaps trying to make sense of what I said and what he heard over and over in school. I just pray that he trusts my words over what others said. I just wish that he’s no longer scared of being a good boy.
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